February 2012
89 posts
4 tags
Improving
Things are looking up again at the moment. I have been taking my meds regularly like I am meant to. I still feel really bad about last weekend, but I am no longer as depressed about it. Talking to my best friend and realising that he doesn’t hate me has helped a lot too.
Today was really damn hot. My fiancé and I had to go down the street and get a christening present for some twin girls,...
you and i.: Borderline Personality Disorder: A... →
dreamdecay:
The world of a BP, like that of a child, is split into heroes and villains. Emotionally, the BP cannot tolerate human inconsistencies and ambiguities; he cannot reconcile another has good and bad qualities into a constant coherent understanding of another person. At any…
The thing that hurts the most about cutting is...
6 tags
Nightmare
I had a nightmare last night. It seemed so real too. I dreamt this guy in a white ute stopped outside our house late at night because he saw me. He was chatting to me and asking me a heap of questions. Then he asked me if I wanted to go for a drive with him. I refused. He kept on at me, so I grabbed my pocket knife and threatened him with it. My fiancé’s brother was there as well and in the...
Open Fire: My brother got in trouble at school... →
shutupmerlin:
He had to write a script for his drama class, and in it he made two of his characters gay
He got in trouble for having ‘inappropriate themes’ in his script and was told to remove the pairing
He thought that was rubbish, because pretty much every other script had a hetero…
autumnpearls said: I feel like I should do something to help, but I don’t know you and I don’t know how to, so just know what if there was something I could to that I would.
Thanks heaps lovely. I really appreciate that. :)
7 tags
Crying a lot.
I feel so messed up since the weekend. I have hit a massive brick wall. I haven’t been able to sleep at night. Haven’t been able to go to work. Have no appetite to eat so haven’t been hardly eating. And I have been crying. So damn much. For hours. I just don’t seem to be able to stop.
I just talked to Jezza on Facebook chat and I cried through the whole conversation. And...
6 tags
Scum
That’s all I am. Worthy of being treated like dirt. I was right. And my fiancé just proved it.
I was fast asleep, cuddled up to him when I get woken up by getting shoved roughly away from him. Because I was making him “too hot again.” I’m obviously not worthy enough of being woken and asked nicely “could I please move over as he is getting too hot”. Nope I am...
Have taken some strong prescription pain killers...
I hope they work. I don’t want another sleepless night. :(
2 tags
Borderline Personality Disorder
Symptoms, attributes and traits.
Here is the DSM-IV criteria. You have to fit 5 of 9 symptoms, at least, to be diagnosed :
Make frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Have a pattern of difficult relationships caused by alternating between extremes of intense admiration and hatred of others.
Have an unstable self-image or be unsure of his or her own identity.
Act...
Self-harm isn’t about how deep the cuts are, how...
4 tags
Rock Bottom.
So I have done it. Reached rock bottom. I cannot stop crying. I hardly slept last night. I seemed to look at the clock every single hour. I feel so bad. I am a horrible person and I don’t deserve to live. I am one big fuck up. A disappointment. I am struggling to go on. I really am. I feel like I need to punish myself. Hurt myself. I am glad that I am hurting. My muscles are all sore. My...
