Struggling to survive 2011

WARNING: THIS BLOG MAYBE TRIGGERING. This blog is going to be about my journey through 2011 and through life. There will be plenty of ups and downs I'm sure. Hoping it will benefit me to keep a record of my progress and how I'm going. I have borderling personalisty disorder, bipolar tendecies, depression, anxiety and panic attacks. I also have Ulceralitive Colitis and am being tested for Crohns. This is my story. ..

That’s all I am. Worthy of being treated like dirt. I was right. And my fiancé just proved it.
I was fast asleep, cuddled up to him when I get woken up by getting shoved roughly away from him. Because I was making him “too hot again.” I’m obviously not worthy enough of being woken and asked nicely “could I please move over as he is getting too hot”. Nope I am just worthy of getting chucked off him. Not to mention he knows how sore my body is and he hurt me in the process.
This just confirms what I have been thinking. I am nothing. I am not worthy of being treated well. I deserve to die. I am just dirt. To be shoved aside. Treated harshly. Not worthy of love. I am nothing. And nothing I shall be.

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